Betrayal can leave your mind in turmoil.
One moment, you're going about your day, and the next—bam—you’re back in the past, caught in a loop of painful memories. It’s like your mind is obsessed with trying to make sense of it all, but instead of finding peace, you just feel more exhausted.
Maybe you catch yourself wondering:
💔 Why wasn’t I enough?
💔 Will I ever feel normal again?
💔 What if this pain never goes away?
Or perhaps you find yourself replaying every little detail, analyzing conversations, picturing things you wish you could unsee. You try to distract yourself, but the thoughts creep in when you least expect them—when you’re driving, making dinner, or lying in bed at night, unable to sleep.
Your mind is fighting to regain control, but real healing begins when you learn to master your attention.
The Power of Affirmations
One of the simplest yet most powerful ways to do this is through affirmations — encouraging ideas that you intentionally focus your attention on.
Affirmations help rewire your brain, shifting your thoughts away from pain and toward healing.
Here are a few affirmations that can anchor you when your mind wants to spiral:
✨ I am worthy. (Even when my heart is broken, I am still whole. I am still enough.)
✨ God handles everything. (I don’t have to figure it all out. I can release control and trust.)
✨ Everything has a beautiful lesson to share. (Even in my pain, there is wisdom. There is growth.)
✨ I am healing, one step at a time. (Each day, I am moving closer to peace and strength.)
✨ I deserve love, respect, and kindness. (I will not settle for less than I deserve.)
✨ I choose to focus on my future, not my past. (The best is still ahead of me.)
✨ I am stronger than I feel right now. (My pain does not define me.)
The Secret to Making Affirmations Work
Now, here’s the catch— most people try a new affirmation every day or moment, which makes it easy to forget and nearly impossible to create real change. Affirmations aren’t meant to be disposable.
To rewire your thoughts, you need to commit to just ONE affirmation for at least seven days. Let it be your anchor when painful memories try to pull you under. Repeat it in the morning, write it down, say it out loud, or even set it as a reminder on your phone. The more you return to it, the more it becomes a part of you.
Another mistake that people make is simply repeating the words, with lackluster effort or while continuing to let their anger bubble. It is crucial to pair your chosen affirmation with a positive emotion in order to solidify these new thought patterns in your mind. For example, you may repeat to yourself “God handles everything”, while envisioning someone or something you cherish, allowing yourself to feel flooded with a sense of love as you repeat your affirmation.
Let your affirmation become a thought and positive emotion that you return to again and again, especially when painful memories try to pull you under.
At first, it might feel unnatural—like you don’t fully believe it. That’s okay. But try to pick something that is not too far of a stretch – something that at least 1% of you DOES believe. Healing doesn’t happen in a single moment. But the more you repeat your affirmation, the more it begins to shape your reality. And the next time a painful thought sneaks in, you’ll have something powerful to replace it with.
Ready to Take the Next Step in Your Healing?
If you’re ready to learn more tools to take control of your healing, I invite you to schedule a Breakthrough Call with me. We’ll talk about where you are, what’s keeping you stuck, and how our programs can help you step into the peace and confidence you deserve.
You don’t have to stay trapped in these thoughts forever. Let’s take the next step together.
With love,
Dr. Shawn Haywood
About Dr. Shawn Haywood
Dr. Shawn Haywood is the founder of Reimagine Love. She is a classically trained therapist, as well as a life and marriage coach, who loves to work with women and couples to help them heal fully after an affair. Over the past 25 years, she has helped thousands of women move from the cycle of disconnect to one of unbreakable love and connection, while healing fully after infidelity, in a fraction of the time of traditional marriage counseling.
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