How to Navigate the Holidays When You're Healing from an Affair

As we head into another holiday, I want to pause for a moment and ask you something important:

How are you really doing?

Not the polite, “I’m fine” kind of answer.

But the raw, honest kind — the one that comes from deep inside your heart.

Because I know something that not many people talk about…

Holidays can be painfully hard when you’re recovering from an affair.

Even a seemingly gentle holiday like Easter can knock the wind out of you in unexpected ways.

Maybe you’ve experienced something like this:

💔 You're at a family gathering, watching your husband being praised for his recent promotion — while your stomach churns, knowing your mom doesn’t know about the infidelity.

💔 You’re stuffing Easter baskets and can’t stop wondering what kind of gifts she might have received from him.

💔 You're in the yard with your kids, smiling while they search for eggs, but inside you're grieving the version of this holiday you thought you’d have — the one you should have had, before the betrayal.

If this is you, I want you to know:

You’re not alone.

The pain you're carrying is real, and you don’t need to pretend it isn’t there.

You might even feel like running away — packing your bags and starting fresh somewhere far, far away. And while that sounds tempting, here’s the truth:

Running doesn’t heal.

Whether you choose to stay in the relationship or not, the path forward involves facing the pain — not fleeing from it.

The good news is: You can heal.

Not just survive — actually heal.

It’s 100% possible to get to a place where:

❤️ You and your husband feel like a solid, unbreakable team again.

❤️ You can enjoy family celebrations without resentment hanging in the air.

❤️ You trust him fully — because he’s done the work, and so have you.

And that new reality? It’s not just possible — it’s waiting for you, if that’s what you want.

So, how can you get through the holidays in the meantime?

Here are a few steps to make this season a little more manageable:

1. Have a “Holiday Plan” in Place

Talk with your partner (if you're in contact) about what feels supportive or triggering. Set boundaries around conversations, gatherings, and interactions. Advocate for what you need from a place of gentle lovingness.

2. Practice Surrender

Create little moments throughout the day that help bring you into the present moment

- Step outside for a few minutes of fresh air and focus on the sensations you feel on and within your body

- Take a quiet breath in the bathroom if things feel overwhelming

3. Write it Out

Journaling is a powerful tool for processing. Let your anger, sadness, or confusion spill onto paper. No filter. Just release.

4. Have a Safe Person on Standby

Whether it’s a friend, a therapist, or a coach — someone who knows the full story and can support you in real-time if things feel too heavy. We offer SOS calls to all of our clients, because we know how easy it is to find yourself in a place of emotional overwhelm after an affair (whether you experienced OR participated in the affair).

5. Start the Healing Work (Even in Small Steps)

Healing from an affair doesn’t happen overnight — but it does happen through intentional, guided steps. Books, podcasts, or journaling can be helpful, but they’re only the tip of the iceberg.

If you're ready to truly heal — not just get through this holiday, but thrive in future ones — support is available.

Ready to take that first step?

Here’s how you can start:

Step 1: Schedule a complimentary breakthrough call with me. We will determine if you are a fit for our style of program (there is a very specific archetype of couple that we know we can best guide towards unbelievable results). We will discuss your current situation, goals and, if it is a good fit, we will discuss what it looks like to work with our team.

Step 2: IF it feels like a good fit for both of us (i.e. if it feels honoring for you to invest in working with our team AND if you fit the archetype of the type of client we are best able to help) then we will start the onboarding process and share more details with you.

Painful holidays don’t have to be your new normal.

A joyful, connected, peace-filled life IS possible.

You don’t have to walk this path alone.

About Dr. Shawn Haywood

Dr. Shawn Haywood is the founder of Reimagine Love. She is a classically trained therapist, as well as a life and marriage coach, who loves to work with women and couples to help them heal fully after an affair. Over the past 25 years, she has helped thousands of women move from the cycle of disconnect to one of unbreakable love and connection, while healing fully after infidelity, in a fraction of the time of traditional marriage counseling.